I have been forty for 19 days.
In that time...
I organized my home and kids so The Hubs and I (and Flat Stanley) could leave town for an entire week...
|7 backpacks just to organize the boys' school and sports paraphernalia|
|Meanwhile I pack my shit like an efficient boss!|
I spent 6 nights and 6 days having the best vacation of my entire life in Scotland...
|This is not a postcard. |
It's an actual picture of an actual bridge that is actually this picturesque.
|Couldn't tell you where exactly this was taken because|
every single picture from the trip is this beautiful!
|Flat Stanley had a great time too but that boy can not hold his liquor.|
I received my first check for something I wrote.
|$40, baby! That's 13 Venti Americanos!!|
And I celebrated one of my favorite friend's 40th birthday with a weekend getaway.
Scrolling through my pictures I found a sombrero, a rubber chicken, lots of red solo cups and a jacuzzi.
In order to protect the reputation of the rubber chicken
(and avoid the disappointment of my mother)
I will not be including any of those photos here.
And while those trips and money are amazing, they were not pee-worthy. They were definitely jump-up-and-down worthy. Perhaps even a squeal-or-two worthy. And I know one of them was smexy-time worthy.
But pee-worthy is reserved for things so fantabulous that I not only jump up and down and squeal and pretty much cry like a baby and then I pee over. That amazing pee-worthy thing has happened...
I was recently informed by Jill Smokler of Scary Mommy- Yes, THE Scary Mommy- that I was selected to be included in her soon to be released book Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the Holidays.
Let's pretend you live under a rock and sadly have no knowledge of Jill Smokler or Scary Mommy. Here's a few hints:
For those of you in the low math group like I was...
The "k" stands for thousand.
She has 710 THOUSAND followers on her Facebook page.
She has published not one but TWO books and one was a New York Times Bestseller
She's appeared on The Today Show, Good Morning America, Nightline, Bethenny, and Fox and Friends. Toss in her Twitter audience and she has over a million social media followers; while her website averages 30 million page-views a month!
Most importantly, her audience is more than virtual:
"Scary Mommy Nation, a registered 501(c)3 non-profit, helps members of the Scary Mommy Community who face the truly scary: An inability to feed their families. Born from an impromptu Thanksgiving fundraiser in 2011, Scary Mommy Nation raised over $160,000 in a matter of weeks last year to supply over 3,000 struggling families with a holiday dinner they otherwise would have gone without."
And on November 17, 2014 this wonderful mother and talented writer will release her third book from Simon and Schuster. And I get to be a part of it!
Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the Holidays is a hysterical collection of relatable, hilarious essays on everything from the Santa myth to being seated at the dreaded kids' table, to easy-to-follow recipes that might include just a little something special to take the edge off (can anyone say Kahlua?), to fun and accessible gift ideas. This book is your ticket to peace of mind- and a laugh- during the busy, crazy holiday season. And a portion of each book sold will go to Scary Mommy Nation's Thanksgiving Project.
It goes without saying that I am honored and humbled (and shocked to the point of losing control of my bladder) to have something I wrote included in this book. Please take a moment to check it out and meet the extremely talented group of female contributors.
While you're there, why not order your copy so you can laugh your way through the holiday season. And maybe even pee a little.
So far 40 is pretty freaking fantastic!
That's just my normal.